Imagine a perfect relationship. A relationship full of love, passion, respect, tolerance, understanding. Imagine that you wake up to sweet good mornings and go to bed after a good night kiss. Every single day. 365 days a year. No exceptions. No failures.
Imagine that a simple smile of the person you love is brightening up your day. And the way they look at you takes your breath away. And the soft touch of their hands makes you realize that they will never let you fall.
Imagine that you have someone who you would like to share hard times with. Someone you want to have beside you in a storm. Someone, who you know won’t let you down, won’t betray your trust. Someone who knows who you are, accepts all your faults and loves you anyway. Someone who sees your heart and touches your soul.
Imagine that your fairy tale finally has come true and you are happy. You really are. Really. Are. Happy.
And each time when you whisper “I love you”, you remind yourself that this is the best that ever happened to you. And you don’t want to let it go.
Imagine the state of absolute overwhelming happiness. Where ‘happily ever after’ seems to be the truth of your life. Where the sky is always blue and the sun is always bright. Where the rain is always ending with a rainbow. And where you wake up and are thankful to the Universe for making your dream come true.
Have you imagined all this? Have you really seen the unalloyed happiness? Have you witnessed this kind of beautiful love?
Now imagine that there is no ‘happily ever after’. There is no future. There is no eternal bliss. There is nothing. Only emptiness.
Because this perfect relationship has to end. Because due to circumstances no matter how great and awesome and wonderful and amazing and true your love is, one day you will have to let go. Because there are things you can’t control. Because life has its own rules. And because you can’t win all the games. And because of all this one fine day you have to let go of something so perfect, something so real. You have to let go of your dream.
Because at some point you can’t afford having a relationship which leads you nowhere. At some point you need to settle down and move on. No matter how big your love is. No matter how happy you are.
At some point you’ve got to take this decision and accept that fairy tales don’t always have happy endings. And yours is just one of them.
But how do you do this? How do you end something which makes you happy? Which makes both of you happy. How do you let go of something which makes you smile, something which makes you live, something which makes you dream.
It is like heart surgery.
But the heart is yours.
And the surgeon is you.
And the outcome is unpredictable.
So how do you decide for a surgery if you still have this tiny bit of hope that things might work out. That circumstances will favor you and life suddenly changes its rules. How do you make a decision of cutting your own heart if your fairy tale has a small chance of a happy end? Even if your practical mind realizes it isn’t going to happen. HOW?
Someone once said that having a moment of true happiness is worth a lifetime of sorrows. How do you decide when to end this moment of happiness? How do you choose the date for breaking your own heart? And for how long you can be living in confusion and wondering about your own decisions.
The decisions about FOREVER.
FOREVER that you don’t have.
You want to be happy. And you want them to be happy too. You want to be happy together.
The bitter truth of life says you can’t. The sweet hope of yours says you might.
You have to make a decision. Not about whether to cut or not. But about when to cut. Now or later. Either ways it will hurt. Either ways it will be tough.
Whoever said big girls don’t cry, was mistaken.